Sometimes life is ... well, not actually difficult. Hard, would be too strong a term. I'm not sure what to call it. Sometimes you can feel very alone when you're surrounded by a lot of people. I'm not sure why, still, but again I'm feeling very depressed and lonely. It probably has to do with many things, unrelated or on a subconscious level related. This weekend is again one of my down weekends. It's not just the weekend, it's been this whole last week.

I had trouble sleeping, trouble waking up, trouble being productive (and no, it's not because I seem to be addicted to World of Warcraft, I like to think I can handle priorities correctly), trouble putting a name to the actual depressiveness I'm feeling. It's when I meet someone online that I really enjoy talking to and during the talks I notice I'm looking for excuses to talk about things that trouble me, that I really know something's not right. It's just not my way to talk to strangers about personal stuff and I can't understand why I would want to.

Maybe when Monique and I are living together things will clear up again, I don't know. I hope so. She really lightens the load on my heart, just by being close. I hope we can find a place for us, soon. And several new customers, so the company can continue growing. Just a few more and we're really making a living. I desperatly need my own life.


Comments powered by Disqus