The Wonderful World of Child Abuse in The Netherlands

Here in The Netherlands, we have a wonderful justice system. It's really out to protect most people, even the criminals. But it refuses to protect the victims. It makes me so mad. I always thought out Justice system was put in place to protect the innocent. It doesn't, and we've seen one of the worst sides of it now.

I'm trying to anonymize the story, but people close to me will probably know what I'm talking about. Nevertheless, here it is.

Imagine you're a young girl. Things haven't been going your way, recently. For some reason you don't yet grasp, your mother went to live with another man and she refuses to come back to live with you and your father again. And your father spoils you with all kinds of gifts. You go to your mother once every two weeks for a weekend and whenever you're there, you don't really want to leave anymore. You were always more your mother's daughter than your father's.

Your father finds a new girlfriend and the woman has a daughter, only a year older than you. You play nicely together and your there often. But the girl is kind of intimidating, she does some sort of fighting sport and she's bigger than you are. You can play nicely, but sleeping together is never fun. The other girl seems obsessed with your body and wants to put things inside of it... Yes, you read that correctly. (You know, I even get tears in my eyes from just writing that down.)

Since you can't really talk to your father, you endure it and wait for a time to talk to your mother. The next weekend, when you're with your mother, you talk to her when you get a moment alone with her. You spill your guts and you can see your mother is very disturbed with it and wants to help you. But you also know that mommy and daddy aren't even close to best friends anymore. When you leave for your father again, you don't really want to go. But you trust on your mother to make things right. After all, you're not even 10 yet and you know those things that happened aren't suppose to happen.

Now for the story of the mother.

Your daughter tells you she's been abused. You're furious and your first reaction is to strangle that other girl. You consult your legal counsel and your friend, who's a police officer. After a second time, you decide to go to the police. Maybe a drastic measure, but you want to protect your daughter and the police is there to protect. Right?

Wrong. The police tells you square in the face they're not about to do anything, since the girls are minors. You should talk to your (ex-)husband and tell him not to let it happen again. You communication with your ex-husband is at an all time low, mostly happening through your lawyers. And you suspect your ex-husband will intimidate your daughter to not tell you anything anymore. After all, the battle for custody has only just started. Besides, you're very afraid the judge will see your complaint as a tactic to get the custody over the kids. You don't want to loose your kids, because you're convinced you're a better parent than the father is.

So the police doesn't do anything. They let you tell your story, they even make a rapport, but they refuse to even give you a copy of the rapport under the guise of "not wanting to help you lawyer too much". How can this happen? Why don't they help protect the kid? What crazy land are we living in? It gets even worse, since they tell you that first you need to complain with the father, if it happens again again with the father and than, if it happens a third time, maybe the police can take some action. Well, not the police, but the Child Protect Services here in The Netherlands. And they will start an investigation that will probably take a few months, during which time no action at all is taken to protect the child.

WHAT FUCKED UP LAND ARE WE LIVING IN?? How in the world can this happen? The Netherlands seems to be a Walhalla for child abuse! Even if the perputrator is a minor, the child needs to be protected! How can we call this justice? I'm furious and I have been furious for days now. There's absolutly NOTHING we can do to help the child. It seems the dutch authorities want you to abduct the child, so they can sue you for their incompetence. I'm so friggin' mad. And I have no idea what to do at all.

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